Success Story Three: Building Things He’s Proud Of
The Background
One former client got started gambling when he saw a commercial during a college football game. There was an initial promotional offer from a sports betting app. And then he got initial offers from all the platforms. “Free money gets you roped in,” he said. “It’s when the free money runs out that you’ve got a problem.”
A loving husband and dad, he was devoted to his family – nothing was more important to him than his wife and kids. But he felt like with the demands of his job and his family, he’d lost himself.
Gambling was something that was just for him.
At first it was small money–$100, $200, $300 bets.
He managed his mother’s money, and she had given him permission to use some money for gambling—to try to win money for both of them.
But then he started using more of her money.
Eventually he got to a point where gambling was consuming his life. His wife had started to figure out he was using his mother’s money to gamble. He was rationalizing it to himself and saying it was okay since his mom had given permission, but in retrospect he realized it was stealing.
His wife asked him questions and could tell he wasn’t being completely honest with her. He realized gambling was causing him to be a liar, something he had never been in the more than two decades they had been together.
His wife gave him an ultimatum: get his gambling under control, or they would have to go their separate ways.
He looked in the mirror and said, “Man, you’ve go to do something.” Gambling was all he wanted to do, but he knew his family was more important to him than gambling.
The Process
When he reached out to The Gambling Clinic, he wanted to get past gambling and never do it again.
He said his therapist opened his eyes to a lot of things he wasn’t seeing himself. He realized gambling was leading him to lie to his wife and his boss. He was researching games instead of doing his job. He justified his gambling as trying to make money for his family, but in fact it was harming his relationship with his family. His therapist also calculated how much time he had spent gambling and thinking about bets.
He quit gambling cold turkey. He deleted the sports betting apps and self-excluded for a year. He downloaded Candy Crush to have something to play on his phone instead of getting on a betting app. He started using his time better. He pursued a graduate degree and started doing things he had been putting off to make time for gambling. He found new hobbies. He built things he was proud of. People complimented his work and said, “Wow, that’s pretty awesome.” Nobody had said that about his gambling.
The Result
Since starting therapy at The Gambling Clinic, he hasn’t placed another bet. There are times he’s watching sports and wants to bet. “But it’s not worth it,” he says. The appeal of the bet is nothing compared to his life, his family. “I have more important things to do with my life than gambling,” he says.
Now his family is proud of him. And he’s proud of himself, because he beat something that was consuming him. “I just never give up,” he explained.
When asked what advice he would give to someone who is struggling with their gambling, he said “Just quit. It’s not worth it. Losing yourself to a vice is not worth it. Especially if you’re a Christian. The gambling becomes an idol…. There’s nothing worth losing yourself over.” “If your family tells you you’ve got to stop, listen.”
